Emotional pain
Guilt often comes from expectations
Guilt is a feeling of culpability of being responsible or blameworthy for harm or error. Like fear, guilt can be healthy or unhealthy. We can be overly sensitive to other people’s expectations and feel guilty when we disappoint them; we can set unreasonable expectations on our self and feel guilty when we fall short; we…
Read More“Silent Agreement” can spawn lies, sever loyalties, and lessen something honest or good without uttering a word.
Yes, silence may be golden, but failing to stand for our core values costs a heavy price (always for us and sometimes for others.) Make no mistake: Silence is tacit agreement with what has been said or done. Like so many things, the motive for silence is more important than the act itself. “Why” we…
Read More“Silent Agreement” can spawn lies, sever loyalties, and lessen something honest or good without uttering a word.
Yes, silence may be golden, but failing to stand for our core values costs a heavy price (always for us and sometimes for others.) Make no mistake: Silence is tacit agreement with what has been said or done. Like so many things, the motive for silence is more important than the act itself. “Why” we…
Read MoreWasting time, energy, and emotions on illusions causes discontent
Someone says or does something; suddenly a worrisome thought spawns in our mind. We unconsciously react, thus giving power to the false idea that this is a real problem. Thus starts the building crescendo of emotions and thoughts about the false problem. As we mature, we learn to pause and evaluate if we are facing…
Read MoreIf nothing changes, NOTHING changes
If we keep doing what we’ve been doing, we’ll keep getting the same results (and keep feeling the way we’re feeling.) Burning our hand on a hot stove brings immediate changes so we don’t do it again; however, we may suffer emotional pain but continue to volunteer for the very acts that cause our misery.…
Read MoreBlaming other people for the way I feel gives them control over my life
Yes, other people can do things that offend or hurt us but it’s our choice on how we react. If we get angry at someone and say—or think—“Look at what he did! He made me angry, he hurt my feelings!” this very thought acknowledges that this person has the power to control the way we…
Read MoreDo you live in the “SOMEDAY ISLE”?
The Someday Isle is a little like Never-Never Land. Of course, adults don’t really believe in Peter Pan and Never-Never Land; however, many supposedly mature people spend a lot of time in The Someday Isle where they may join the chant that pervades the land. “Someday Isle … Someday Isle… Someday Isle…” Someday I’ll quit…
Read MoreGod's love heals our emotional wounds
God’s love naturally flows to our individual need, and there, like healing oil, supplies the exact agent required to heal the suffering. Sometimes the healing is a direct response but other times, we receive an option to see, think, and feel differently; we must choose to pursue that option to facilitate the healing. We find…
Read MoreStop worrying. Eliminate “If”, “What if “and “If only” from your vocabulary
Worrying contributes nothing to solving problems. In fact, it often prevents or interferes with finding real solutions. But worry becomes a habit, an automatic reaction when faced with things we can’t control. It starts as a single thought but can quickly grow to dominate our mind and is much easier to control before it grows…
Read MoreA jar full of vinegar can’t hold honey
We cannot be loving and angry at the same time; we cannot be full of gratitude and also have guilt, anxiety, fear, or resentments. When these miserable feelings start bothering us, we focus on the positive things in our life. Write a gratitude list. This action changes our attitude quicker that a 1000 thoughts. The…
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