Posts Tagged ‘Anger’
Must”, “should”, “need to”, “ought to” and “have to” create stress and anxiety
Our mental self-talk contributes to our emotional state. Thoughts of “must”, “should”, “need to”, “ought to” and “have to” cause tension and stress. Often, we make self-imposed deadlines; then, we get stressed-out when we cannot live up these expectations. Or we allow other people to make unrealistic and unnecessary deadlines; or we respond to them…
Read MoreThere is no companionship with the immature.
If you find no one to support you on a spiritual path, walk alone. There is no companionship with the immature. The Dhammapada (5:61) We may find times on this spiritual journey in which other people test our path. They may try to lessen or demean our value, ridicule our choices, tempt us to believe…
Read MoreThe good is often the enemy of the best; we can settle for mediocrity or strive for excellence
Settling for the good, or even the mediocre, has a definite ingrained appeal; indolence and procrastination are a part of the animalistic side of our human nature. Choosing to do as little as possible gives us an easier life. But settling leads us to accepting mediocrity in relationships, careers, and all areas of our life.…
Read MoreMake a “to be” list in addition to a “to do” list.
We get so caught up in living the rat race that we forget to actually live. We develop patterns—the mental-emotional response habits—that continually produce stress, anxiety, worry, and fear. We rush about, cramming as much activity as possible into each day; then, we crash, take a mood-altering chemical to help us relax and feel better…
Read MoreThere is no law that I must allow people to “push my buttons”
After all, they are MY buttons. Do I give other people the power to make me angry? To make me feel guilty? To make me ashamed? Do I react to what others say, how they look at me, or what I think they think about me? Do I silently accept what “they” say I should…
Read MoreTHE “Yeabuts” cause continuing misery —especially if they justify resentments, anger, or other symptoms of self-driven will.
“Yeabut—I have a right to be angry”. “Yeabut—you should see what she did”. “Yeabut—they aren’t doing what they should do”. “Yeabut—it isn’t right.” “Yeabut—it isn’t fair.” “Yeabut—I need that.” “Yeabut—I don’t have the time.” “Yeabuts” are masters of camouflage. They often hide selfish, self-centered, or self-righteous motives under a smokescreen of rationalization and justification or…
Read MoreI participate in gossip by talking—or listening. Without the listener, gossip dies
Do I have an inner void, a feeling of emptiness that makes me feel ‘less than’ other people? Is gossip one of my ways to compensate for this? Do I talk about other people? Do I share a confidence just to flout that I know something another person does not know? Must I try to…
Read MoreSufficient to the moment are the troubles thereof
A Zen story: A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his…
Read MoreWhy—and how–do I react to people? Am I kind and loving, patient and tolerant? Or something else?
If I get upset, is my reaction because someone attacked me physically or degraded one of my core values? Or is it because of pride or a need to be right? Do I respond with little thought, without being peacefully centered? Or do I pause, pray and try to respond with maturity and love? People…
Read MoreCharacter growth or character building? One follows the natural path; the other is doing it my way.
Building indicates that I have the blueprint, that I am the planner and the “doer”; growth infers that I am willing to plant the seed, nurture and water it with the right thoughts and actions, and let God and nature decide the direction and timing of my natural growth. We’ve reached that point where we…
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