Posts Tagged ‘resentments’
THE “Yeabuts” cause continuing misery —especially if they justify resentments, anger, or other symptoms of self-driven will.
“Yeabut—I have a right to be angry”. “Yeabut—you should see what she did”. “Yeabut—they aren’t doing what they should do”. “Yeabut—it isn’t right.” “Yeabut—it isn’t fair.” “Yeabut—I need that.” “Yeabut—I don’t have the time.” “Yeabuts” are masters of camouflage. They often hide selfish, self-centered, or self-righteous motives under a smokescreen of rationalization and justification or…
Read MoreI participate in gossip by talking—or listening. Without the listener, gossip dies
Do I have an inner void, a feeling of emptiness that makes me feel ‘less than’ other people? Is gossip one of my ways to compensate for this? Do I talk about other people? Do I share a confidence just to flout that I know something another person does not know? Must I try to…
Read MoreSufficient to the moment are the troubles thereof
A Zen story: A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his…
Read MoreWhy—and how–do I react to people? Am I kind and loving, patient and tolerant? Or something else?
If I get upset, is my reaction because someone attacked me physically or degraded one of my core values? Or is it because of pride or a need to be right? Do I respond with little thought, without being peacefully centered? Or do I pause, pray and try to respond with maturity and love? People…
Read MoreLife isn’t always fair; so what do we do about it? We can become mired in self-pity and resentment—or we can move forward.
A number of different things affect our idea of fairness: what we think ‘should’ happen or what we believe is ‘right’; our current reaction to misery symptoms (anger, guilt and so on); and the immediate influence of our self-driven will (selfishness, self-centeredness, and self-righteousness.) In any situation, we may not have a fair idea of…
Read MoreI do not have to accept a gift of guilt or anger.
We’d have no trouble saying “NO!” if someone offers us a birthday gift of poisonous snakes but it’s sometimes harder to decline gifts of feelings that other people try to give us. Learning which gifts to accept and which to refuse requires emotional and spiritual maturity. We cannot begin to control other people but we…
Read MoreCarrying rocks in your pocket adds burden to your journey
It’s just common sense: if you keep adding rocks in your pocket, the extra weight makes walking difficult and sooner or later, something has to give. You don’t see adults with a pocket full of rocks but yet, quite a few carry the weight of resentments, guilt, remorse or shame as a daily burden. Everyone…
Read MoreDifficult people and situations are part of life; whether I see them as villains or opportunities determines their power over me.
Life teaches us that acquiring certain virtues will improve our life; we may develop a sincere desire to be more patient or tolerant; we may seek and pray for these attributes. But the only way to acquire any desirable trait is through encountering people who cause us contention and frustration. Learning patience requires experiencing situations…
Read MoreAt any moment, life can throw a mud ball at me.
Life happens. We can be enjoying life or just getting by; then, something unexpected hits us. We get bad news; someone rejects us or something totally unfair or unreasonable happens. Do we give situations, events, or other people the power to determine the quality of our day? Of our week? Of our life? If we…
Read MoreHappiness and peace are impossible without integrity
INTEGRITY (noun): the quality or condition of being sound; of being un-impaired, undivided, complete, or whole. We are either whole or we have a hole—an inner void. Many people feel this hole, this inner void, like something is missing. We try to fill it with answers taught us and sold to us by other less-than-whole…
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