Must”, “should”, “need to”, “ought to” and “have to” create stress and anxiety

Our mental self-talk contributes to our emotional state. Thoughts of “must”, “should”, “need to”, “ought to” and “have to” cause tension and stress.  Often, we make self-imposed deadlines; then, we get stressed-out when we cannot live up these expectations. Or we allow other people to make unrealistic and unnecessary deadlines; or we respond to them…

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You never see a U-Haul in a funeral procession

You can’t take anything with you. The house, the car, the toys, recognition, money, club memberships, and all the things you worked to acquire or achieve—none of it goes to the grave or beyond. So how important is it really?  Is this really what life is all about? What do you barter to acquire these…

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Make a “to be” list in addition to a “to do” list.

We get so caught up in living the rat race that we forget to actually live. We develop patterns—the mental-emotional response habits—that continually produce stress, anxiety, worry, and fear. We rush about, cramming as much activity as possible into each day; then, we crash, take a mood-altering chemical to help us relax and feel better…

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THE “Yeabuts” cause continuing misery —especially if they justify resentments, anger, or other symptoms of self-driven will.

“Yeabut—I have a right to be angry”. “Yeabut—you should see what she did”. “Yeabut—they aren’t doing what they should do”. “Yeabut—it isn’t right.” “Yeabut—it isn’t fair.” “Yeabut—I need that.” “Yeabut—I don’t have the time.” “Yeabuts” are masters of camouflage. They often hide selfish, self-centered, or self-righteous motives under a smokescreen of rationalization and justification or…

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Sufficient to the moment are the troubles thereof

A Zen story: A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his…

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