Why we suffer

Personal Differentiation Process

  • Is it really a problem, or is it something I think might be a problem? Is it truly a direct and immediate threat to my well-being, or is it just a nuisance, an irritation? Am I just reacting?


  • Is it my responsibility? Whose decisions and actions have brought about this problem? Am I protecting someone else from the consequences of his or her choices or actions? If I take no action will the outcome cause me direct harm? Will it cause someone else harm? If so, why do I have an obligation to prevent it? Is this any of my business?


  • Can I do anything about it today that will prevent or alter the situation? If I cannot take an action on it today, it’s not a problem today. It may become a problem (an immediate and direct threat) tomorrow but it’s not today. Instead, it’s a worry, an illusionary problem. If I can take an action, I need to do so and then move on.


  • Do I really want to solve it? Sometimes we forget that we don’t need to find a solution for every problem.


  • How big is it really? Am I blowing this out of proportion and over-reacting? Many current upsets have little long-term impact on our lives.         


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