Why we suffer

Personal Differentiation Process

• Is it really a problem, or is it something I think might be a problem? Is it truly a direct and immediate threat to my well-being, or is it just a nuisance, an irritation? Am I just reacting?

 

• Is it my responsibility? Whose decisions and actions have brought about this problem? Am I protecting someone else from the consequences of his or her choices or actions? If I take no action will the outcome cause me direct harm? Will it cause someone else harm? If so, why do I have an obligation to prevent it? Is this any of my business?

 

• Can I do anything about it today that will prevent or alter the situation? If I cannot take an action on it today, it’s not a problem today. It may become a problem (an immediate and direct threat) tomorrow but it’s not today. Instead, it’s a worry, an illusionary problem. If I can take an action, I need to do so and then move on.

 

• Do I really want to solve it? Sometimes we forget that we don’t need to find a solution for every problem.

 

• How big is it really? Am I blowing this out of proportion and over-reacting? Many current upsets have little long-term impact on our lives.